It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
