you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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