so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
