You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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