do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she peed on how many people?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
false alarm, still single
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