I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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