It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
