I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
