Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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