Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
