when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
