Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
True but thats because hes a fetus.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dicks are not precious.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
