guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Randomize
