what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
