So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
