It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
