they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
