member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
