Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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