I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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