I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
