I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
