My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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