Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
