your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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