He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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