How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
