Swine flu. Run for my life!
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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