u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
