Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
