thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
