he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
