You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
