I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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