Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
