i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the condom got lost in my hair
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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