A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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