I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize