I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
