ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
