How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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