Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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