did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
