everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
