What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
