Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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