I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
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