WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
