we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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