Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
