yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
