Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
