she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
