NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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