Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
